Gay Reflections

Here is where I get to put in my two-cents worth. My thoughts and opinions (as if anyone really cared!). Anyway, send in your "reflections" and we'll try to post as many as possible. Email to loydclayton@hawaii.rr.com.

NETFLIX VS BLOCKBUSTER
Roy and I have been renting films online from Netflix for a couple of years now. Blockbuster in now in the game and we considered switching. I don't know about their actual stores, but their online rental services appears to be a bit homophobic. Following is a copy of my e-mail (sent 8/15/04) to Blockbuster:

I have been a Netflix member for a couple of years now and was considering switching over to Blockbuster. Your prices are a bit lower and I like the idea of receiving instore coupons. But as a gay customer, I must say that I am disappointed in your small selection of gay films. You even appear afraid to use the word "gay". Nexflix actually has a category entitled "Gay & Lesbian". What few films you have are hidden under the general term "sexuality". Absent from your selection are such well-known and respected gay oriented films "Longtime Companion", "Love! Valour! Compassion!", and "Torch Song Trilogy". In closing, I would like to say that you are doing a disservice to a large portion of American citizens, missing out on a potential source of customers, and have a long way to go to catch up with Netflix.

Hanapepe United Church of Christ
I attended service at Hanapepe UCC on Sunday, December 1, 1996. I had read on the internet that the UCC was one of the more forward thinking of the Christian churches, having even ordained open Gays and Lesbians. So naturally I had to check it out. This was World Aids Day and the opening speaker talked of AIDS. He compared People With AIDS to early Christians saying that in Christ's time, professing to be a Christian could cause one to lose family and friends, to be scorned, and possibly even killed. He said that it is much the same today for People With AIDS. While I did not have the same feelings of love and family as I would have had if I had been attending service at Metropolitan Community Church, I did find it refreshing to hear a mainstream Christian church referring to People With Aids as Christ-like rather than an abomination. After the service they showed a film on the AIDS quilt.

In the privacy of their bedrooms...This is a term often uttered by Straights who actually believe they are being liberal-minded in their attitudes towards Gays and Lesbians. You hear them say, "I have nothing against Gays. What someone does in the privacy of their bedroom is their own business". Well, thank you but no thank you. Being Gay is not something I do in my bedroom. I am Gay in and out of the bedroom. It is a part of who I am. Always and forever. Thank you for trying to be open-minded and accepting of my lifestyle but understand that I am not Gay on a part-time basis. This is a full-time job!

Gay Marriages... As we have here in Hawaii, many Gay organizations have been fighting to get their states to pass some form of legalized Gay marriage. One of the arguments used against us is that the “vast majority” of residents oppose legalized Gay marriages. I would submit that regardless of how the “vast majority” feels, there must be a way of providing committed, loving, Gay couples with benefits currently only now accorded to heterosexual couples. Rights of survivorship, spousal medical and life insurance benefits, etc. Many Gay couples are in loving, monogamous relationships. My life partner and I have been together for over 20 years. This is longer than many straight, married relationships. Yes, not all Gays remain in a long term, committed relationship. But the same can be said for heterosexual couples.

Another argument is that Gay marriages would “normalize homosexuality”. I can only point out that homosexual behavior already is perfectly normal and natural for homosexuals. As a Gay person, it would be both abnormal and unnatural for me to take part in heterosexual behavior and activities.

Of course the biggest argument is that homosexuality is a matter of choice. Something you can turn on and turn off. Not only is this not true, it is not even logical. Homosexuality is not something you do in the bed. A homosexual is a person who is physically and lovingly attracted to persons of his own sex. You certainly cannot chose who you are attracted to. The only choice to be made is whether or not you chose to act on your attraction. Will you be true to yourself and live your life as you have been naturally inclined, or will you deny and hide your feelings, go against your true nature and try to live a heterosexual lifestyle.

It is time to take our minds out of the gutter. We need to stop looking at who we love and instead look at how we love. Relationships, rather homo or heterosexual, are a lot more than sex. It is love, commitment, sharing, and yes, it is sex also. These feelings are the same for everyone, Gay or straight.