Gay Marriage has been in the news again in Hawaii. As in other states, Gays in Hawaii have been fighting to get their states to pass some form of legalized Gay marriage. One of the arguments used against us is that the "vast majority" of residents oppose legalized Gay marriages. Issues of civil rights should never be left up to a vote of the majority. Back in the 60's, if individual states had been allowed to vote on civil rights for Blacks, many Blacks would not have received the rights they were entitled to. So regardless of how the vast majority feels, there must be a way of providing committed, loving, Gay couples with benefits currently only now accorded to heterosexual couples. Rights of survivorship, spousal medical and life insurance benefits, etc. Many Gay couples are in loving, monogamous relationships. Roy and I have been together for over 28 years. This is longer than many straight, married relationships. Yes, not all Gays remain in a long term, committed relationship. But the same can be said for heterosexual couples. Civil Unions In Hawaii
Another argument is that Gay marriages would "normalize homosexuality". I can only point out that homosexual behavior already is perfectly normal and natural for homosexuals. As a Gay person, it would be both abnormal and unnatural for me to take part in heterosexual behavior and activities.
Of course the biggest argument is that homosexuality is a matter of choice. Something you can turn on and turn off. Not only is this not true, it is not even logical. Homosexuality is not something you do in the bed. A homosexual is a person who is physically and lovingly attracted to persons of his own sex. You certainly cannot chose who you are attracted to. The only choice to be made is whether or not you chose to act on your attraction. Will you be true to yourself and live your life as you have been naturally inclined, or will you deny and hide your feelings, go against your true nature and try to live a heterosexual lifestyle.
It is time to take our minds out of the gutter. We need to stop looking at who we love and instead look at how we love. Relationships, rather homo or heterosexual, are a lot more than sex. It is love, commitment, sharing, and yes, it is sex also. These feelings are the same for everyone, Gay or straight.
Added 11/9/2010:
I feel the need to point out that my support for Civil Unions is only mediocre. In truth I find Civil Unions to be a form of what they tried in the South with Blacks, "separate but equal". It turned out to be a lot more separate than it was equal. Putting us into our own little category of "civil unions" is a slap in the face that tells us we are not good or righteous enough for marriage. It puts us in a separate and substandard class. In reality, I believe that the government should get out of the marriage business all together and not issue marriage licenses to anyone. Instead, all couples would be issued a civil union license. Couples who felt the need for the sacrament of marriage could go to their church. It would be up to the individual churches whether or not to perform the marriage ceremony. This way all couples would be in the same boat. We would all have equal standing under the law and the issue of how the bible defines marraige would be in the hands of the churches where it belongs.
DADT - Open Letter To The President
Like many Gays, I felt a strong sense of hope during the campaign and election of President Obama. One of the promises he campaigned on was to end Don't Ask - Don't Tell. In lite of recent events, I felt it necessary to email President Obama. Following is a copy:
Dear Mr. President,
I will probably vote for you again in 2012 (assuming you win the nomination). Yet it is sad that after all the hope and inspiration I had felt during your campaign, my voting for you will now be just a matter of choosing the better of two evils. This is what you have become.
You campaigned on the promise to end DADT. Now that a federal judge has ruled it unconstitutional and ordered an end to it, this would be the perfect time to do so. You wouldn't even have to take the heat for it. After all, it was a judge who declared it to be unconstitutional, not you.
But what do you do? YOU APPEAL THE JUDGE'S DECISION.
Yes, I will probably vote for you again. But only reluctantly.
Signed, Loyd G. Clayton, Jr.
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